there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
