I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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