...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's get the cat blown out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
