its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
