Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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