i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
