Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
