if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
