It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I party with great urgency now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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