It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
