meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
