What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
