he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
