I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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