she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
