You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
