Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's never too late to be topless.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
