and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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