blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
