Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
