Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize