She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
