Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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