if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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