I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
