If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
