jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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