i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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