it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
