As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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