my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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