did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
