You just made me feel so damn special
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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