oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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