but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I cut my penus on the lid.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
