Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize