Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
