So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
