Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Even my vagina gasped.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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