What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
