Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
