No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
