her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
