Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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