Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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