he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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