He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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