I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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