I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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