how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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