I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
