I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
