it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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