She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
