Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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