Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
