I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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