how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
