would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
how drunk are you?
Several
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
