Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
