Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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