omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
