Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
