Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we made out on top of his cat.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
